Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Time changes.
Maybe you are right, people change too.
Certainly you are right, I have changed. You knew me, you do not know me.
I remember the delicious acquaintance that instigated out of a heated debate, when you stepped in as the peacemaker, and the yummy camaraderie we developed over conversazione about theory and reality and sea and to keep breathing. We debated God then, we bitched about free will and Spinoza and death and rock and roll and yes… your poetry.
Those gods that didn’t stand a chance and migraine attacks at 5 in the morning. I actually remember your nervousness about speaking in public when I couldn’t help laughing at your nasal accent.
Was there anything we didn’t bitch about? It’s hard to remember things you donot do. Aint it?
We shared what… Dead mothers, our tumultuous pasts shrouded in the mist of hearsay and fright, the limbos of our algophilia from the past that we so feared, some shattered pieces of body and soul that we gathered over the years. (Yes I remember you scarred forehead you incorrigible bitch) and a common addiction to sadness. From you nasal behanchoods and my textual batterings we established a connection, an unsaid vow to try to hurt ourselves in hurting each other. Didn’t us. But in all time I never hated you. I could never love you the way I loved her. And how could I? Could you grab love in your hand and shake it yourway? But I never hated you. I didn’t hate you when you hated me, I didn’t hate you when you ran away. Yeah and I was hurt too because you were. For not being able to give one thing that you wanted.
But now I hate you.
Not because you are on a spree of fucking every asshole that you can; not because you cant ask some miserable little piece of shit to mind her own goddamn business; not because you let ‘people’ between us and judge us. I don’t hate you because you can be a massive whore.
I hate you now because you are too fucking ugly. Gosh you are too fucking ugly now.

12 comments:

Majaz said...

Surereal.

Talha Masood said...

comment

Ozair said...

hmmm... thats... well thats simply from the heart aint it...

i'v been away so long...

but... for wot its worth... hope you your doin well...

Barooq said...

Ozair:
Its from the fingers again baba. We the typing-generation has stopped letting heart interfere with our finger's works :)
And I am doing great.

Ozair said...

so... 23 letters and thensome... what do you do...? id venture a guess and say u write for a magazine... :)

Ozair said...

ok... so what do u do then... :)

Ozair said...

hahahaha... u know what i mean... if your studyin what are u currently studying... if u were working what exactly does your job entail... :) i was interested...

also when do i read something new new.. :)

Madnas said...

What an ugly tale-

Barooq said...

Abay What are you doing here. Dont you have things to do Madnas.
Run run run lola, run to darling's land.

Ozair said...

i prolly suffer from laziness myself... prolly not as much as you but yeah... i do... plus the stories i write are always half done... i get bored and decide to move on... i have a myriad stories still pending completion... for far too many iv forgotten the plot... hahaha...

electrical engineering... sounds technical... :) iv had dreams of being tangled in wires... brrr...

Ozair said...

right... so it would be nice to talk to you sometime, on msn... my email address is in my profile... unless u would like to maintain your anonymity... :D

Chrysalis said...

*wince*
that was cruel..